What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
