super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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