So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
