Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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