seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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