My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
