My pussy is not your playground.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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