Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize