everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
