You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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