just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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