p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
organizing the empties. That sober.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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