dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
