That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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