that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize