First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
