i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
