i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
