im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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