he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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