Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
