Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
this is an emotional support booty call
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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