im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
