12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize