there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
