Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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