Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
