Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
