Apparently you make a good broom.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
