It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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