what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
