just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
