he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
