I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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