For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
