More tranny stories later!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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