I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
