my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
