I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
