The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
