Kiss
Puke
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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