We tried having a conversation with our noses.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
