He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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