he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
