he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
