maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
