Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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