nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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