How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize