Someone shit on the floor
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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