it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
