yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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