I don't think brook has ever known best
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
