soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
