Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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