I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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