I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
