If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
