Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
