Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
